Monday, March 29, 2010

Went to the doctor today to have her tube fixed...
I couldn't look at it. I still cannot believe what happened to my mother.
My mom who was always seen helping my grandmother chop the vegetables in the morning; My mother who rarely gets ill but usually in a bad who was alive, well...
I told my grandmother I am sorry for behaving badly lately. She said it was alright. She told me to be nicer to the people, namely Flower and her cousin (my other uncle's wife who is Flower's cousin) who are taking care of my mother. Flower now sleeps in my mom's room, my mom's request. She feeds mom, cleans up after her in the bathroom... It's hard not being the one to do that sometimes. But at the same time I don't think I can handle doing it... I'm just really in a confused phase right now. And I'm really sad. I guess, admittedly, I don't know what to do without my mother. Despite our differences. Despite the distance between us. She defines who I am. And I love her.
She's been an inspiration to me, to be honest...I don't know what to do without her... I'll leave it here for now..

hung out with my best friend's this afternoon. it's 5 am, and I just got home. I had a nice day.