So after almost a year, I visit this place again.
I don’t know if commemorating someone’s death is something everyone practices, but we’re doing that on my mom’s first year on the 13th of August. She passed away on August 13 2010, and my lola wants us to have ‘padasal’ and food and drinks for everyone. I asked her if she really wants to do it, she said yes. I didn’t tell her, that although I pretty much accepted the fact the my mom is with God now, I haven’t really come to being okay about it. Do you know what I mean?
Maybe that’s why I’ve been feeling a bit weird lately. That ‘day’ is coming up, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Honestly, I am not ready to deal with all these feelings again. All this drama. All this negativity. All these bad thoughts, and memories. I don’t know. I’m not really sure.